Ive always loved Christmas. The lights. The breeze. The long nights. The cheerfulness it brings to people, especially when it hits me, which happens all the time, even though I don’t have the means to. My mom aint here. I am currently broke. My social life is declining. I don’t have a significant other other than jonas, who I considered significant because anyone who considers you as his goddess is worthy of your attention (he denies it but obviously hes dying to be one of us: The Glorious Orientals
)
Actually, I do have another “significant other”. See, “significant other doesn’t necessarily mean a bf. Nor does it mean the feeling has to be mutual. It is as it is said: significant - other.
It isn’t until now that I realized how significant you were.
When, one night, despite my struggling hesitation, I texted you. I didn’t want to communicate with you in any way coz I might be too weak to stop myself from telling you everything. I didn’t want to tell you not because its shameless but merely because its unnecessary. Unnecessary because you already knew, and telling you bluntly would be an insult. Its like thinking youre stupid. But youre not. Its like interpreting it for you. And I know you don’t need any interpretation. It was clear.
And just as I thought, I almost did. If not for the uncooperative sarisari stores around my area, which I raided at 3 am to buy load because I only had 2 pesos left, only to find out that they were already closed(duh?!), then yes, I would have told you.
I haven’t had entries here for a while. Maybe its coz im sick of hunting for good things to write here, coz in the end, id disappointingly realized that there really is no good thing around lately. Or maybe, again, im afraid I might end up pouring it all here, although Im pretty sure you haven’t discovered yet my new username, or atleast I hope you hav’nt. Or what the heck, even if you did, it wouldt make any difference. Im free; ur not; they know; YOU know. And still, im thinking about Christmas.
But after that talk, here I am back in my blogging state. See how significant you are?
Unfortunately im not that significant to you.
But then again, there’s always jonas, who is equally but not in the same way significant that you are, but will be sitting with me together with my friends in the field of grand stand where ill be overwhelmed with the breeze and the lights later this evening.
Currently listening to: im rly hot-missy eliot
Currently reading: unbearable lightness of being
Currently feeling: christmassy
